Open Letter to Singles - A Testimony
I've received many responses to the OPEN LETTER TO SINGLES.
The following is a response from a young Christian woman. As her wedding date drew closer, the struggle to find and do the will of God continued.
Regarding her testimony, she wrote, "I am so grateful that nothing we go through is in vain. There is always a way that our lessons learned can touch other people." Let her personal story of struggle, revelation, and victory touch your life. It will be an encouragement to all youth and Singles who read it. - Steve Ares
Brother Ares,
I just finished reading your letter to Apostolic Singles, and I felt compelled on behalf of the young lady you are dealing with to write you and tell you about my experience. Perhaps you can pass this email along to her to help convince her that she is making a major mistake.
Before I tell you my story, however, I'll tell you what a young minister's wife said to me regarding this subject. "I've seen it so many times with young Apostolic women," she said. "Just before the right one comes along, the devil will send someone into her life who looks like he could be the one, just to see if she'll take the bait."
Well, about a year ago, I came dangerously close to taking the bait.
When I was sixteen years old, I met a boy named John. For the next two years we had an on-again, off-again, teenage relationship. If was not a godly relationship by any means. Both of us had Apostolic backgrounds, but neither of us were living for God at the time.
The winter that I was 18, I finally gave into the conviction that I had been feeling for years and surrendered to the Lord. John was there when I was baptized, and when I received the Holy Ghost. My whole life changed dramatically, to say the least. I was thrilled with what I had found in God, and baffled about why I had waited so long to come to Him. I was less than thrilled, however, when John didn't share my enthusiasm. After a couple of rough months of bickering, and me holding fast to my beliefs while he tried to make me compromise, I broke it off. I felt good about it; I had made the right decision.
I was content to work for the Lord and for a short period in my life actually thought that marriage was not going to be a part of my future. After some time went by, though, loneliness began to creep in and I would allow myself a phone call to John occasionally or a visit, but I never let things go beyond friendship because of his spiritual condition. However, the summer that I was 22 - just last year - John finally began attending church regularly.
I remember one night in July, I was driving though the town where he lived and my mind began to wander over the past. Why had we kept in touch all these years? I wondered. If I wasn't calling him, he was calling me. Sometimes it even seemed that God was behind our chance meetings. Why had I never stopped thinking of him? Why did he claim to never stop loving me? There were a few other incidents that came to mind, and before I knew it, I had put "two and two" together and come to the conclusion that God must have had a great purpose in all of it. Never mind the fact that I never felt comfortable with him - that I always felt "dirty" or convicted somehow when we were together. Never mind the fact that I didn't want to be seen in public with him, for the fear that someone would think we were back together. I shoved aside everything that I knew about God's word and the experience I had with John's instability. Within a matter of weeks I had myself convinced that he was "the one" for me. And, of course, I got no argument from him.
By November of that year, we were engaged. In December I bought a wedding dress. I planned, after our marriage, to attend his church - a church which had many problems and was not nearly as stable as mine. A church that had not given John proper direction in his life. But let me give a sound warning to anyone who might find themselves in the same condemnation: SATAN IS THE MASTER OF DECEIT. ONCE YOU OPEN YOURSELF TO HIS DECEPTION, ANYTHING BECOMES BELIEVABLE. Through all of this, despite my uncertainties and discomfort, I managed to convince myself that I was totally in the will of God, and that the negatives I was experiencing were coming from the devil.
Suddenly, though, things began to come to light. I found out that the differences between John and I went much, much deeper than simply small convictions. John was having an occasional beer with friends, even getting all-out drunk at times, without my knowledge of it. I even excused his behavior once or twice when he sincerely repented! He needs me to help him be strong, I justified.
Towards the end of January, with our wedding planned for April 1, I was growing increasingly uncomfortable in my situation and I began to earnestly seek the Lord and guidance from other saints. Through much prayer and repenting, I discovered my mistake and ended the relationship. Then it seemed everything changed. John repented bitterly in tears. His spiritual walk changed. In the week that followed, he prayed like never before, read the Word like never before, and witnessed fervently to the men who had been his drinking buddies.
And I almost made the biggest mistake of my life.
Perhaps telling me to break up with John was God's way of waking him up, I reasoned. Maybe now he is finally where he needs to be. And I began, slowly, to allow myself to see him again. I delighted in his newfound faith.
Less than a week later, however, a girl in my church who knew little of the situation pulled me into the restroom after service. What she told me shocked me. "Amanda, you asked God for an answer during our revival, and he gave it to you. Now you want to take it back, to do things your way. But you are going to be out of the will of God and you are going to ruin your life."
I knew that God had spoken, and the next day, I ended the relationship for good.
Ten months later, in November of last year, a wonderful, godly Apostolic man named Robert came into my life seemingly from nowhere. On our first date we discovered that many of our convictions were in agreement, and every time we spoke afterward it seemed like there was a new discovery about how similar our lives, minds, and walks with God were. Within weeks I was falling in love, emotional issues from my past were being healed, and I found myself in the center of a beautiful, godly relationship that made all of the years of waiting worthwhile. Driving home from our first date, I thanked God fervently that I had not married John. Even one evening with Robert was worth everything I gave up in John. Things with Robert are still wonderful, and growing better by the day.
And where is John? Living in a trailer, an alcoholic, as far from God as he has ever been, and trapped in a state of depression and despair.
Not only did God's mercy spare me in my "romantic" life, but my ministry was also saved. Just 3 months after I would have been married and attending John's church, God began to direct me towards youth ministry. I have started what is known as "Teen Night" at my church, and I have truly found my purpose in God's kingdom as I am watching teenagers weep before God and seeing their lives changed.
I would have lost everything that God wanted for me if I had taken my future into my own hands and used my understanding, rather than faith in God, to make my decisions.
Please, share this testimony with anyone who you feel needs it. God has a plan. God has beauty for our lives. God has perfect timing. We have to stay in the will of God, be patient, and wait on Him, and HE WILL BRING IT TO PASS. His way. The right way.
God bless, Sister Amanda